Easy, Martha

How to have people over without going nuts

By Kathy Gunst

Kathy Gunst will be signing copies of her new book and offering a taste of some of the recipes from Relax, Company’s Coming! at Books, Etc., 240 Rte. 1, Falmouth, at 2 p.m., Dec. 15 and at Stroudwater Books, in Dover, NH, Dec. 16.

So, you’ve decided to throw a holiday party. Everyone on your guest list is looking forward to the event. They all ask, “What can I bring?” In the spirit of the season you respond, “Oh, nothing, don’t bring a thing. Just come. Can’t wait to see you.” What made you repeat all that Martha Stewart nonsense? If you weren’t such a macho hostess you wouldn’t be lying awake half the night trying to figure out how you’re going to cook for all those people, do your work, and find time to buy holiday gifts. Fool!

A therapist I know has a patient who is so anxious about entertaining that she sought professional help. The patient’s goal is to be able to host a dinner party — presumably without taking medication beforehand. This is an extreme case, but it does reflect a widespread feeling that entertaining and anxiety go hand-in-hand.

Strange that this should be, because there is ample advice available on how to entertain and cook for guests. Food magazines, cookbooks, celebrity chefs, even a television network devoted entirely to food all offer countless recipes and suggestions. Yet today, people seem more uncomfortable with the idea of entertaining than they did years ago. Why?

I have a theory: the media often show pictures of gorgeous men and women preparing elaborate meals in outrageous kitchens (some the size of a small home) with perfect dinnerware, matching wines, and fabulous ambiance. How can the average working jane or joe achieve this level of perfection? It’s what I call the Martha Stewart syndrome. It gets you thinking like this: if I can’t cook like her and live in a house like hers than I better not have a party. So we either choose not to break bread with guests, or we do it with stress.

I would like to offer a third option: entertain and enjoy it. If throwing a party isn’t fun — from shopping for the food, cooking the food, serving it, and sharing it with friends — then what’s the point?

How can you entertain in a way that’s comfortable? I have three very basic pieces of advice that can make the difference between a good party and a stressful one.

• Simplify. When it comes to entertaining, simplicity is highly underrated. I don’t go to a friend’s home expecting to eat restaurant food. I don’t want to be dazzled by foamy sauces and six-course meals, each one meant to outdo the next. What I do look forward to is the chance to talk, enjoy some fresh homemade food, drink some good wine, and hang out. I’d much rather have good macaroni and cheese served by a relaxed host than eat truffled foie gras from someone who had to tear out their hair to get the food to the table.

• Be realistic about how much you can do. If someone offers to help, say “yes.” Let them bring dessert, some wine, or, if they are a really good friend, let them make part of the meal. An alternative is to make part of the meal yourself, and rely on take-out shops or your favorite restaurants for the rest — bread, soup, a collection of delicious salads, cookies, or pies.

• Don’t try to impress: If you find yourself worrying what your new neighbor will think of the soup or how your in-laws will judge your pasta sauce, you’re in trouble. Cook for the fun of it! Cook for the love and joy you’ll give to your friends and family when they sit down at your table and see that you had a good time preparing the meal. Stress doesn’t taste good. But a relaxed attitude makes your guests feel welcomed.

So relax, enjoy yourself, keep it simple, and remember: the goal of entertaining is to spend time with your guests, not to be hidden away in the kitchen when company arrives.

Holiday helpers Here are two quick recipes from Kathy Gunst’s newest cookbook, Relax, Company’s Coming!, published by Simon and Schuster. These dishes will help any holiday party feel festive and stress-free:   Spiced Nuts Offer these sweet and savory nuts with cocktails before dinner, or sprinkle over salads. They also make a great gift arranged in a Mason jar decorated with bright ribbon or raffia. You can also use almonds, pistachios or hazelnuts instead of, or in addition, to the walnuts or add 1/4 teaspoon cumin powder or try using maple syrup instead of the honey. Vegetable oil for greasing pan 2 tablespoons olive oil .5 teaspoon ground ginger .5 teaspoon curry powder .25 teaspoon cayenne pepper 2 tablespoons sugar 1 tablespoon honey .75 cup walnut halves .75 cup pecan halves Salt Line a baking sheet with foil. Spread oil lightly over the foil. Heat the 2 tablespoons oil in a large skillet over medium heat. Add ginger, curry, and cayenne pepper; sauté until fragrant, about 30 seconds. Stir in the sugar and honey. Add nuts and stir until honey mixture is amber in color and nuts are well coated, about 6 minutes. Transfer nut mixture to prepared baking sheet. Working quickly, separate nuts with spoon. Sprinkle with salt. Cool. The recipe can be made 3 days ahead of time. Store in an airtight container at room temperature. Makes 1.5 cups.   Grated Carrot and Sun-Dried Cranberry Salad This colorful winter salad combines beautiful colors, flavors, and textures that wake up a winter palate. Serve with sandwiches, soups, roasted meat, or poultry and crusty bread. 3 cups grated carrots, about 2 large carrots .25 cup finely chopped fresh parsley 3 tablespoons chopped sun-dried cranberries, cherries or raisins Salt and freshly ground black pepper 3 tablespoons wine vinegar 6 tablespoons olive oil In a bowl, mix the carrots, parsley and cranberries. Add salt and pepper. Mix in the vinegar and oil, and stir well. Taste for seasoning. The salad can be made about 2 hours ahead of time. Cover and refrigerate until ready to serve. Serves 6 as a side dish.