Wars of the words

On reading the book based on the movie

By Sam Pfeifle

Star Wars: Episode II — Attack of the Clones By RA Salvatore, based on the story by George Lucas and the screenplay by George Lucas and Jonathan Hales. Ballantine, New York, 276 pages; 353 pages, $26.

Everybody’s seen a movie based on a book they’ve read. “It’s not as good as the book,” they say (okay, I say, too). Really? Shocker! If you’ve got any imagination at all, it’s always going to be better than what CGI effects can produce. In my mind, elvish women are always prettier, super heroes always more prodigiously strong, sorcerers always more fantastic. Hence my eagerness to read Star Wars: Episode II — Attack of the Clones before the movie came out.

For once, the movie would have to be better than the book! The simple fact is, RA Salvatore, a prodigious sci-fi and fantasy writer responsible for such Forgotten Realms series as the Dark Elf trilogy and the Icewind Dale trilogy, had only the movie with which to work. There wouldn’t be any problem of how to condense 300 pages of action into two hours. No, the problem would be how to stretch two hours of movie into 353 pages. (Technique A: make the type really big.)

But beyond that, I was interested in exploring the story behind Star Wars. I worried that the special effects and technical wizardry were blinding me to the inane quality of the movies themselves (all these smarty-pants critics assure me that Jedi and Phantom sucked, but, darn it, I seem to have enjoyed them enough to watch them three or four times each). They are supposed to be telling great stories, after all.

Sure, there’s some inanity here. The love story between Senator Amidala (Queen of Naboo is an elected position, apparently term-limited) and Jedi-in-training Anakin Skywalker is certainly nauseating. There are plenty of scenes where they stare deeply into each other’s eyes, want so badly to kiss, but stop themselves out of obligation. Or don’t (horrors!). And I’m guessing you’ll want to use the restroom right about when they sit down to the dinner table with Amidala’s family. But don’t you remember the pathetic courtship Han and Leia went through? Luke’s jealous glances? You take it with a grain of salt.

Remember, if Anakin and Amidala don’t get it on, Luke and Leia cease to exist, so it has to happen somehow. Are you expecting Lucas to waste a movie making Pretty Woman?

In the end, it’s about whether you identify with the characters and the righteousness of their fight. The empire, a government that has presided over thousands of worlds and thousands of years of peace, is crumbling. The Jedi, sworn protectors of the empire, are losing their grip on the force as the dark Sith increase their power. The Separatists, literally hundreds of worlds, have left the empire to follow ex-Jedi Count Dooku, who, along with the Trade Federation (the WTO-like bad guys from Phantom), promise unlimited free trade throughout the “corrupt” empire presided over by the Imperial Senate and Emperor Palpatine.

This is quite the dilemma. The Jedi are not warriors, after all, but more like powerful Zen masters. They have no interest in war to keep the empire intact — and there’s not enough of them to fight millions of battle droids anyway. Also, the fact that their command of the force is weakening is very worrisome, as it portends the prophecy that the dark side will rise up and challenge their power.

That’s where Anakin comes in.

There’s a possibility that he’s the prophesied chosen one who will bring balance to the force. And he sure is powerful, demonstrably more so than his teacher, Obi-Wan (the same guy who bent the truth and told Luke in the original Star Wars that Anakin had been killed by Darth Vader). But Anakin’s just a kid. He misses his mother. He’s hot for Amidala. He likes to drive fast, blow things up, and try to act tough.

Pay attention to this stuff, it’s important. Imagine if the future of the United States rested on the backs of Jenna and Barbara Bush. Right now.

It gets really interesting when we meet the Fetts, father Jango and son Boba (yeah, Boba’s your favorite, too, I know). Juxtapose the rigid training provided by Jango the bounty hunter to that of Anakin. Boba listens with determined adoration. Anakin is headstrong. Boba is meticulous in his actions and desperate to please. Anakin is careless and wholly reliant on his innate skill and power.

It’s not difficult to predict which of the two will accomplish his spoken goals.

Between Anakin’s struggles to establish himself as a man and the political machinations of a seemingly good-intentioned Emperor Palpatine (don’t believe he doesn’t want the powers the senate extends to him!) arguing that a clone army is the empire’s only defense against the Separatists, there’s a lot to wrap your head around here.

So . . . huh? The fight scenes you ask? Oh yeah, did I mention they absolutely rock?! There’s an epic clash between Jango’s wily tricks and Obi-Wan’s Jedi power played out on a rain-swept landing pad with Boba blasting from a waiting starfighter. Hundreds of Jedi fight in close quarters with tens of thousands of battle droids, light sabers flashing in techni-colored brilliance. Yoda, yes the lovable switch-wording Yoda, whups some serious ass with a lightsaber of his own and launches balls of pure energy. Anakin wields multiple light sabers. Starfighters bank tightly through asteroid fields. Amidala picks off droid after droid with a blaster. At least four new monsters appear to rival Sarlacc for scariest creature in Star Wars history.

I could go on. For a while.

Of course, it’s possible Salvatore’s prose and my imagination have combined to better Lucas’s cinematic vision. Maybe lines will be delivered so stiltedly, effects rendered so transparently, that the movie will, once again, fail to live up to the book’s promise. But, somehow, I doubt it.

Sam Pfeifle can be reached at spfeifle@phx.com.