Civil Rights

The subtle power of a good story

by Tony Giampetruzzi

Sexagenarian George Desrosiers of Sutton, Massachusetts, doesn't have much experience talking about being gay in front of any size audience, let alone a room full of people. That's why he may have appeared nervous on Saturday when he told his story to nearly 30 participants from around the country at a Maine SpeakOut speaker training.

"I have had some great and interesting experiences that I would like to share, but I've always been nervous about talking about being gay," Desrosiers, a retired school teacher, said.

Desrosiers began speaking very fast, something he doesn't like to do. It was his nerves again. "I sometimes find myself using the word `Catholic' for `gay' and `gay' for `Catholic.' That can really confuse people and it confuses me too," said Desrosiers, after telling the gathering that his first crushes included actors Randolph Scott and Tony Curtis, which brought laughs, lightened the atmosphere in the room, and brought a confidence in Desrosiers's speech. He began to speak more slowly and with marked confidence.

"In those days there was no such thing as other queers, all you were supposed to need was a good fuck," said Desrosiers of the isolation gay men experienced in the '50s. It was not until an honorable discharge from the Air Force (he admitted being gay after falling in love with another flyboy) and a dozen or so failed relationships with women that Desrosiers decided to see once and for all if he was indeed gay.

Now seven minutes into his speech, Desrosiers commanded his audience. "I applied and was accepted into the Kinsey Institute for Sexual Research in Indiana in 1973. One of the first nights there, I met a woman who was involved in Planned Parenthood. I told her my dilemma and she agreed to have sex with me so I could see if I could perform," said Desrosiers. "Well -- I found out I was gay."

Desrosier's conclusion drew applause, but also questions.

"That's how the really good stories end," said Jonathon Lee, executive director of the Maine SpeakOut Project. "With something that hits you and provokes questions.

"The best way to reach people is with short, emotional, face to face speeches about real experiences," said Lee, who hosted 22 people from around the country for the speaker training at the Southern Maine Technical College last weekend. Lee and other members of MSOP developed the program to teach people from other states and communities to be comfortable with public speaking in hopes that those people will organize speaker bureaus similar to the one that exists in Maine. None have been as intimate and successful as this one, said Lee

Nearly half of the participants were young people from places like Cornell University in New York and St. Joseph's College in Windham. "These people have been doing great work for years," said Lee. "But this program really gave them the training they need to help replicate and integrate a program like the MSOP into their own organizations."

Desrosiers said that he is ready to take his messages to larger audiences now. "I've always wanted to talk about these things, and I think that I can do it now thanks to the feedback that I received this weekend."