Elfin magic The Filament Gallery goes gift crazy BY MAGGIE KNOWLES

Here’s a holiday secret: Portland is home to renegade elves. Many years ago, a handful of the North Pole workers got fed up with wooden horses and sweet-faced rag dolls and quit. Their exodus found them here, which — although we complain — is quite temperate compared to the Pole. Within weeks, small workshops sprang up and the elfin-artisans made the baubles and trinkets they could only dream of at their previous place of employment. The trouble, however, came not from the quality of their goods, but that few buy art from pointy-toed green people. Their savior came in the form of the Filament Gallery. Owners Jill and Ernie took a chance on the motley crew and are displaying their talents through December 22 at their third-annual Holiday Show.

This show is for anyone who a) hates the mall b) waits until December 22 to shop c) has never heard of Sponge Bob Square Pants and d) has a huge crush on their art-loving secret Santa. The 25 artists, who are never normal anyway, let their hair down even further for this show creating funky, light, and fun objects — all of which are for sale.

Let’s do this chronologically: The first things to buy are ornaments for the tree (or shrub or Festivus pole). Ernie Paterno is a glass blower. Besides beads, bowls, and goblets, he makes Witch’s Balls, or, for purposes here, tree ornaments. Beautiful swirls of color catch the light and bounce it around in these large orbs. As I turned a purple ball in my hand, for the first time wondering how glass things are made, Ernie invited me to his studio where I got to watch glass-blowing in action. After watching an artist twist and shape molten glass I will mourn every broken wine glass from here on out.

So, now that the tree is looking pretty, we can start buying presents! For the person in your life who just can’t get enough nudity and construction, photographer Allan Teger’s Body Scapes will save the day. Starting with a genital and adding small figurines, Teger makes a landscape. The one that will be a favorite stocking stuffer is penis-as-construction-site. A large rig with hooks swings dangerously close to the, um, phallus, while a small man raises his hands in protest (or is that victory?).

Check Aunt Mindy off the list with a birdhouse by Griff. Griff, blacksmith by trade, biker by looks, builds sturdy birdhouses from logs. Over the entrance, he hangs a metal pendant such as a star or worm. It is the perfect bachelor pad for your blue jays. Speaking of bachelors, your ex (whom you are still "great friends" with) can ignore your calls while admiring a table made by Ben Constiner. Using wood with names such as curly and zebra, he constructs handsome lamps, boxes, and side tables. He likes to use a lot of color variety, setting dark woods in between almost iridescent ones.

For your college roommate, who stole the above-mentioned ex, there is a line of funky fleece boas. (Fleece makes the ex itch like crazy.) Crazy materials and colors will jazz up any boring jean jacket.

And we can’t forget our alcoholic neighbor. Adding function to art, Nina Scott Hanson makes bottle openers from cast iron. My advice would be to never use this after one beer. They weigh a lot and could easily take off a toe when dropped. However, they have these faces that are a riot. They look like Fraggles on crack and are perfect hanging over the bathroom scale.

Remember when you wanted a Cabbage Patch Kid, but since they were like $500 your mom made you one? Remember how scary they turned out? Kristen Richland does. Her little rag dolls appear to resemble ones used for voodoo. But she uses vintage cloths and materials for the clothes. Some of the fabric has been passed down through three generations of her family.

And for the members of your family that seem to have it all, give them one of Zhenya Shevcherto’s animals. His little critters, ladybugs, penguins, and flying pigs are glass wonders. The artist is from the Ukraine and had to make his own torch, part of which is an old airplane wing. Even though he is from a harsh part of the world, his animals are quite sweet.

There are many one-dimensional gifts as well. Lydia Paste’s famous chimp paintings are on the walls at Filament, as are prints by Colleen Kinsella and Marguerite White.

Of course, you can’t forget to treat yourself. Give yourself one of Cathy Bloom’s papier-mâché horses. Galloping atop a marble pedestal in the shape of a stallion, the economics section of the Wall Street Journal has never looked so exciting. If horses aren’t your thing, there are handmade cards, glass bead necklaces, brushed metal mirrors, and printed leather bags, too.

Don’t be surprised if the person who rubs up against your leg with appreciation is small and green with pointy toes.

Maggie Knowles can be reached at margaret_knowles@yahoo.com

The Holiday Show is at the Filament Gallery, in Portland, through Dec. 22. Call (207) 775-0418.