BY JOSH ROGERS

THURSDAY 12

SNICKETY SNAX. Our favorite snack to consume during work hours was Little Lads popcorn, until we heard Snacks, the electronic band made up of Tom Boram and Dan Breen. Even better would be listening to Snacks while eating L.L.’s popcorn. Mmm, good stuff. These two skinny white boys are from Baltimore and playing at Stillhouse Studio Theatre, at 108 High Street, 2nd Floor in Portland tonight at 8 p.m. Cover is $5, which is slightly less than the "Pig" at Little Lads. Call (207) 879-5498 to see if you can bring a bag to the show.

Darediablo is the kind of band that hits so hard you don’t even realize you haven’t heard any lyrics until the third song. And when we say hard, we mean hard-rock hard, especially with those rock opera-like keyboards. It’s mesmerizing. Like a time warp to a front-row viewing of the Who. But you don’t have to travel through time, you simply must travel through SPACE. At 538 Congress Street in Portland, you can bang heads at 8:30 p.m. Cover is $5. Call (207) 828-5600 for more info.

FRIDAY 13

DUMPED. Say someone just broke up with your pathetic ass and you need a little encouragement to go on with your miserable life. May we suggest you go to RiRa to hear Now is Now? You may remember Sam Pfeifle’s review of their new album, Days of Summer, where he wrote that lead singer Mitch has the qualities of a motivational speaker. We could all use some encouragement. Go to 72 Commercial Street in Portland. Maybe you’ll meet another pathetic ass looking for a rebound kind of night. Call (207) 761-4446 to post a personal ad.

If you were planning to pine away, listening to sappy, poppy love songs, then you need to be at the State Theatre for the Gavin Degraw concert. This dude will keep you wallowing in your self-pity, while looking for someone to wink a hello to. The 7:30 p.m. show is all-ages at 609 Congress Street in Portland. Tickets are $15, a small price to pay for inspiration. Those who are suffering teensploitation call (207) 775-3331.

Okay, so maybe you’re not in break-up mode. Then head over to Brian Boru, where the local patrons can smell your pheromones in a matter of seconds. Dirty McCurty, a regular king of innuendo, is playing and may take requests for "Let’s Get it On." There is no cover, but you may need to buy some drinks if you’re trying to get laid. At 9:30 p.m., go to 57 Center Street in Portland. Call (207) 780-1506 for more information.

SATURDAY 14

SOCIALLY UNACCEPTABLE. Unless you recently moved here from Pittsburgh and hide in your apartment painting bad acrylics, you’re probably familiar with Portland’s favorite bands Paranoid Social Club, As Fast As, and Vacationland. All are playing at the WCYY Patio, at One City Center in Portland. The show is a free, all-ages, outdoor gig starting at 5 p.m. Call (207) 792-9299 for additional information.

Those of us who grew up listening to Pantera, Tribe Called Quest, Bob Marley, Deee-lite, and the Dead Kennedys all on the same mix tape (while painting bad acrylics) won’t want to miss Honeycreeper, a funky, sexy mish-mash of all those genres. Leading lady and songstress Mandy Beck plays sax with a vengeance and her boys bring the funk to Portland’s Alehouse. At 30 Market Street, you can taste the sweetness. Can call (207) 253-5100 for the time and cover if you’re curious, but you’ll probably get a message that says something like "This Saturday the return of Elderberry Jam . . . beeep," and we can’t exactly give out the owner’s cell number.

With the charisma of Johnny Depp in Cry Baby, Phoenix designer Matt Robbins of King Memphis has all the girls squealin’. And let’s not forget about the impeccable boys of rhythm, Kris Day on upright bass and Gary Burton on drums, who have all the asses shakin’. King Memphis are the rockabilliest rockabilly who will have you begging for more . . . all night long. Once you hear these boys, you may not even care that Mystic Vibes, the Brilliant Mistakes, the Coming Grass, Cindy Bullens, and Lisa Loeb are also playing at Baystock. This year the benefit is at the Maine State Pier on Commercial Street in Portland. Proceeds from the $20 tickets go to the Jessie B-C Fund, Cancer Community Fund, and United Way of Greater Portland. From 1 to 10 p.m. you can drink Budweiser, enjoy some tasty festival foods, and dance your ass all over the pier while contributing to charity. For instructions on how to style a pompadour, call (207) 523-7510.

SUNDAY 15

BRING THE NOISE. Within your lifespan, nothing is more crucial than seeing Sonic Youth live at least once. Sonic Youth are the kind of band that you just can’t play loud enough. Every song is sooo brilliant that it has to be played at louder and louder levels so you hear all the baroque details. Their latest album, Sonic Nurse, despite the fact that the bandmembers are all in their graying years, delivers the intensity and timeless art of capturing teen angst that can be found on all of their albums. Excuse me, CDs. They have been defining rock for over two decades and still manage to sound fresh. Opening for Sonic Youth, at 7:30 p.m., are White Magic and Magik Markers (those are two bands with some pretty similar names — kind of like if Rusted Root had played a show with Rustic Overtones and Twisted Roots opening, not that they would have done that). The all-ages show is at the State Theatre, 609 Congress Street in Portland. Call (207) 775-3331 for $25 tickets.

MONDAY 16

TWISTED SISTER. Class is in session, my friends. Keep your hands in your lap to avoid a ruler beatdown and pray you won’t get called on. The Sister has got a few holy lessons and righteous laughs for all you heathens. And for the holier than thous, she’s got some rewards in the dark form of a rosary. Late Nite Catechism is now playing at Ogunquit Playhouse, Route 1 South in Ogunquit. Curtain is at 8 p.m. For late night confessions, call (207) 646-5511. Tickets are $39.

Since 1976, the gypsy dancing group American Travelling Morrice (that’s their traditional spelling, not just your standard Phoenix typo) has been touring the Northeast, preserving ancient folk tradition. This tradition is said to bring good luck and prosperity to the community, not to mention a really fun time. Check them out while they’re here in Portland at the Maine State Pier, on Commercial Street, at 11:30 a.m. or at Tommy’s Park, at 4 p.m. Bring the kids, anybody’s kids, to the free performance. Call (207) 547-3977 for more information.

Looking delicious and dapper, the boys of Gomez (pictured) are in Portland playing tracks from their newest release, Split the Difference. The British rockers are kinda silly, but danceable, and are playing with the Thrills, who have a sweet, charming, kiss-you-on-the-cheek brand of Irish pop. We’re hoping they will play their upcoming single, "Whatever Happened to Corey Haim." Is he still in rehab? Currently working on Dream a Little Dream Part 2? Find out if the Thrills have the answer at the State Theatre on 609 Congress Street in Portland. The 8 p.m. show is all ages. Call (207) 775-3331 for $18.50 tickets.

TUESDAY 17

FACTS, MUSIC, AND BEER. The Irish Potato Famine occurred between 1845 and 1849. The first king of Ireland was Brian Boru. The Irish Civil war started in 1922. The sport of "hurling" is often confused with "shinty." The wren is the king of birds. If you’re not up to date on these facts, then it’s time to brush up on your knowledge of Irish culture. Tonight is the Saint Patrick’s Day celebration at Aran Irish Pub — yes, Saint Patrick’s Day in real Irish tradition (celebrated in August because the pub is closed during the winter season). That means there will be no green beer. Sorry, but green beer is stupid and gross. From 3 p.m. to midnight you are in for the real deal, for free. While listening to live Irish music and guzzling Guinness, you can test your knowledge in Irish trivia rounds. The pub is on Route 1 in Wells. To find out what "black and tan" really means, call (207) 646-1900.

WEDNESDAY 18

SBD. Having a little brother is shitty. But then the teenage years hit and you find a common ground in skateboarding or tormenting the oldest sibling with aerosol deodorant. You walk away with a few scars and a plethora of fart jokes, maybe even a best friendship. In the case of brothers Richard and Doug Preston, their scars were probably lead tattoos from the occasional pencil stabbing. Finding their common ground in literature, both have become respected writers: The Hot Zone, The Cobra Event, and The Boat of Dreams are by Richard; and Relic (yes, it was made into a Paramount film), Mount Dragon, Brimstone, and many others are by Doug. They will be at Darrows Barn for the Performing Arts to discuss writing and growing up together. Share your fart jokes with the Preston boys on Route 1 in Damariscotta. The 7 p.m. lecture is $9. Call (207) 563-1507 for more information.

THURSDAY 19

ORDER UP. If you haven’t been to Acoustic Coffee yet, tonight is the perfect night to get a tall order of Maine Songwriters Association Open Mic and Showcase. From 6:30 to 11 p.m., you will hear the soothing sounds of Amy Therrien, Steve Bacon, Dan Drayer, Travis James-Humphry, and Athena and Rhad. Before the night is through, be sure to get a gander at their gallery, too, featuring the photography of Shanti Curran. There is no cover at 32 Danforth Street in Portland. For more information call (207) 774-0404.

On a trip to the North Pole in a boat that was supposed to be named Caracas, three guys become marooned in the ice with no hope of survival other than eating the recently deceased. That’s what you’ll find in Dan O’Brien’s newest play The Voyage of the Carcass (always proof-read your painter’s work), now showing for only two nights at Deertrees Theatre. Delivering slapstick-induced humor, O’Brien captures the best of our clowning human nature. See if these three rejects escape their doom at Deertrees Lane in Harrison. Curtain is at 8 p.m. Tickets are $18. Call (207) 583-6747 for more information.