The Hitachi Magic Wand and beyond Let's just say they have classes for everything nowadays BY SARA DONNELLY

This is a private story, exactly the kind of thing one doesn’t talk about in polite company. I really shouldn’t. But, well, if you insist . . .

A couple of weeks ago I attended a sex class.

An anal-sex class.

And, wow, it was pretty good.

The sex class was taught by Jeff Gellman, a 38-year-old sex-store owner with flowing blonde locks reminiscent of Michael Bolton during his "When a Man Loves a Woman" golden age. Gellman is a national sex folk hero of sorts, having launched Miko Exoticwear in Providence, Rhode Island, in 1993. To date, Miko reigns as one of the best-known women-run sex boutiques in the country. Gellman is the only man working at the company because, well, he owns it. As a sex advocate, Gellman divides his time between running the store and teaching sex classes at sex-positive boutiques all over the Northeast (more on "sex-positive" later).

Last Sunday was a full day for Gellman. He said goodbye to his pregnant wife and his two kids at their house in Providence around 1 p.m., jumped in his 1989 Volkswagen Vanagon with his two German Shepherds Max and Uma, and headed up I-95 to Portland. During the drive he went through a mental checklist of the night’s upcoming seminar — the number of people to attend (12), the mix expected (both singles and couples). Upon arriving in Portland, he took Max and Uma to the dog park on Valley Street, where they played until around 6:30, at which point he shuttled them back into the Vanagon to drive to Nomia Boutique at 24 Exchange Street, where a handful of eager participants watched Gellman launch the first public sex class in Maine’s recent memory with the kind of matter-of-fact visual one would expect from a professional sex educator.

Standing in front of Nomia’s BDSM book rack, Gellman began by clenching his fist sideways to the group and announcing simply, "So this, everybody, is my asshole."

PORTLAND’S NEWEST sex store, Nomia Boutique, is more than your average sex shop. Yes, it has an impressive variety of sex toys. Yes, you can fire up test vibrators before you fork over the dough for your own special friend, and, yes, Nomia has a women-only night and a flair for taste rather than tack. But now, Nomia is more. Nomia’s owner, Gina Rourke, believes educated sex means better sex. To this end, Rourke recently began organizing sex workshops on topics like "Sex Toys 101," "The G-Spot and Female Ejaculation," and "How to Talk to Your Kids about Sex and Sexuality." The class that I attended, titled "You Want to Put It Where?: Anal Sex Basics," was the first educational offering open to the public. Twelve people, including myself, gathered in the small store in Portland’s Old Port to engage in an informal seminar on the ins and outs of rear entry.

Those of you skimming ahead to the good parts can chill out. We were all clothed. It wasn’t that educational.

Rourke, a 30-something redhead whose work outfit nearly always includes jeans, has modeled her store on a handful of sex-positive boutiques nationwide — stores like Good Vibrations in San Francisco, California; Oh My Sensuality Boutique in Northampton, Massachusetts; and Gellman’s Miko Exoticwear, all of which are distinguished by their emphasis on sex education and in-store sex-toy examples. Rourke opened Nomia in late January of this year and hopes sex workshops both in and out of the store will eventually gobble up a third of her business efforts as the year progresses.

"The sex education people get in school tends to focus on the biology of reproduction," says Rourke, explaining her motivations for starting the workshops. "It does not talk about sex as a source of pleasure."

The workshops cost between 10 and 20 dollars per person and are open to anyone 18 and older, with "How to Talk to Your Kids" scheduled for November 9. To sign up incognito, you can call Nomia during business hours or, if you’re feeling frisky, swing by the store in all of your unabashedly sexual glory and add your name to the roster in person.

According to regional sex-industry experts Gellman and University of Southern Maine Women’s Studies Professor Wendy Chapkis, Nomia Boutique is the only store in Maine to directly associate with the sex-radical, or sex-positive, movement. Sex-positive means anything from a sex life encouraging open communication to an endorsement of consensual sex in all of its incarnations with nearly all moral judgment tossed out the window. The term "sex-positive" first entered the American lexicon in the 1970s, when feminists disenchanted with the women’s movement’s focus on sex crimes decided to also highlight the sensual aspects of female sexuality. When some sex-positive feminists began cheering for all kinds of consensual sexual practices, and were joined by outspoken prostitutes and porn stars, those who disagreed rallied. The ensuing debate, known as the "Feminist Sex Wars," eventually gave rise to such current sex rock stars as Annie Sprinkle (a former porn star and prostitute turned academic) and Carol Queen (a prostitute and author whose books include Exhibitionism for the Shy and Real Live Nude Girl.)

Today, sex-positive boutiques all around the country encourage women and men to explore their sexuality freely by placing a premium on informed staff and high-quality sex toys. Employees are trained to answer specific questions about product origins, performance, and versatility in an environment designed to be comfortable for both the experienced and the virginal. At Nomia, the walls are painted in warm earth tones and flower-patterned fabric softens the overhead lighting. Stepping into the second-floor boutique feels kind of like entering the bedroom of a trusted older sister — she answers all the dirty questions and she never gossips.

Since opening in January, Rourke has talked with customers about everything from first-time clitoral stimulation to how best to introduce a new toy into the bedroom. The job, she says, is part therapy, part sales.

"When somebody walks in the door, I have no idea who they are, what they do, what their comfortability level is," says Rourke. "[The nature of] my conversation shifts with every customer in the store."