Independent thief BY AL DIAMON

There’s only one thing preventing a candidate with no political-party affiliation from stealing the 2006 gubernatorial election and becoming Maine’s third independent governor.

No candidate.

Other than that inconsequential detail, everything is in place for another James Longley or Angus King to sweep into the Blaine House next year. Consider these facts:

In 1974 (when Longley was elected) and 1994 (when King won), the public was disgusted with both Republicans and Democrats, perceiving the former to have no agenda and the latter to have one developed by space aliens. Does this bear any resemblance to current circumstances in which legislative Dems passed a property-tax relief measure that provided no relief, and the GOP just diddled around? I believe there are some similarities.

In ’74 and ’94, both major parties nominated bland, slightly shopworn candidates with platforms so wimpy they failed to touch on the concerns of disgruntled voters. In ’06, Democrats will try to re-elect Governor John Baldacci. During an August 14 interview on the Boston Red Sox radio network, Baldacci was asked who was running the state while he took in a ball game at Fenway Park. The governor inadvertently summed up his administrative philosophy when he said he’d left Maine on "automatic pilot." As for GOP frontrunner Peter Cianchette, who lost to Baldacci in 2002, he’s already announced this isn’t the time to discuss icky things like issues.

So it shouldn’t be particularly difficult for some charismatic outsider with even a modicum of political savvy to repeat Longley’s long-shot win or King’s courting of the voters. In fact, it might be easier than it was for those two, since public campaign financing will provide over a million bucks for TV spots, something previous independents had to pay for out of their own pockets.

All that’s needed is some good-natured boob willing to be the candidate.

My use of the word "boob" to describe this mythical contender isn’t merely a gratuitous insult. (Not that I have anything against gratuitous insults.) It’s the term that best describes how independents behave once they get in office. Longley, an insurance salesman, was a terrific campaigner, but a terrible politician. He alienated both Democrats and Republicans in the Legislature, balanced the budget by refusing to maintain or repair state property, and vetoed bills if he didn’t like the sponsors. King, a lawyer and TV talk-show host, was smooth on the tube, but clumsy in the Rotunda. Although he ran as a fiscal conservative, he never managed to find common ground with legislative Republicans, which allowed Democrats to spend whatever they wanted.

So let me be clear: I don’t think electing another governor without a party will solve our problems. It might even make them worse. Voting for an independent just because we’re honked off could be downright irresponsible.

But who wants to be responsible? Given a choice between Baldacci Lite and Cianchette Ultra, a big shot of Old Independent 100 proof ought to liven up the proceedings considerably.

In the interest of disrupting the two-party system as much as possible, I’ve compiled this list of potential gubernatorial interlopers:

Nancy Oden The environmental activist from Jonesboro is too weird to win over the swing voters essential to waging a successful campaign for the Blaine House. But I put her on my list because she’s the only announced non-party candidate, and if I ignored her, I’d never hear the end of it.

Richard Woodbury The independent state representative from Yarmouth co-chairs the Taxation Committee, where he’s proved to be not all that different from a Democrat. Sort of a more boring version of Angus King, only less telegenic.

Barbara Merrill She’s currently a Democratic state representative from Appleton, but it’s not too late for her to dump a party affiliation that’s been strained by her defense of rural values, her attempt to consolidate county government, and her fiscal conservatism. (Keep in mind both Longley and King were Dems before they wised up.)

Joe Boulos The Falmouth developer got screwed by the Baldacci administration in his effort to obtain tax dollars to help build a huge arena, convention center, hotel, and office tower in downtown Portland. He’d appeal not only to those who don’t care for the incumbent, but also to fans of corporate welfare.

Mary Adams The Garland anti-tax crusader is less wacky than Longley and has a better grasp of how state government works than King. She needs to dump her membership in the GOP, and focus her campaign on a constitutional amendment capping state spending.

Charlie Eshbach The general manager of the Portland Sea Dogs baseball team has kept ticket prices low, attendance high, restrooms clean, and might be about to win an Eastern League pennant. If he can convince me to pay $4.50 for a 12-ounce beer, he can convince you to vote for him.

Cast your ballot or your aspersions by emailing me at ishmaelia@gwi.net.