Prepare to be wrong BY AL DIAMON

I haven’t backed many winners in state referendum elections. In spite of my impassioned pleas to the contrary, Maine voters approved term limits (1993) and public campaign financing (1996), while rejecting casino gambling (2003) and a property-tax cap (2004).

As a result of ignoring me, we have a state Legislature filled with inexperienced boobs, most of whom were elected by squandering taxpayer dollars. Because nobody listened to my reasoned arguments, we aren’t employing thousands of people shaking down tourists for the money they saved for their kids’ college education. And our reformed property-tax burden is just about as heavy as our unreformed property-tax burden.

That’s so discouraging that it’s probably just as well I ended up on the short end of the tally in the 2000 vote to legalize doctor-assisted suicide. Otherwise, I’d be billing my HMO for an overdose of painkillers.

I don’t expect my luck to improve on November 8.

Twice before, I’ve voted for civil rights for gay men and lesbians. Twice before, lots of people who allegedly agreed with me stayed home on election day, and the Heathian homophobes squeaked out narrow victories. The only difference this time has been the wimpiness of the pro-gay-rights campaign.

So, I’ll dress for losing when I head to the polls, in my Brunswick Naval Air Station cap, Casco Bay Weekly T-shirt, Channel 8 News warm-up jacket and the surplus pants I got from FEMA in return for my Delta Airlines stock. I’ll drive my Yugo (the one with the bumperstickers for Harriet Miers and Peter Cianchette), while listening to Air America. And I’ll once again cast my ballot to ban discrimination.

Maybe it’ll take my mind off the pre-paid vacation I had booked in New Orleans.

Question 1 isn’t the only item on this year’s ballot on which I expect to end up on the same side of the tally sheet as the unusual biological specimens they find to run against Olympia Snowe.

There’s also Question 7, a constitutional amendment that would give a tax break to coastal property used by the commercial fishing industry. By allowing such land to be assessed based on current use (stinky dilapidated shacks), rather than the way all other property is valued (potential condo projects), supporters hope to preserve the traditional Maine way of life. Which was last spotted about half a century ago, paddling toward the Canadian Maritimes.

There’s no doubt this proposal would reduce property taxes for beleaguered fishing types, many of whom earn significantly more than the state’s median income (particularly if they count the cash they don’t report to the IRS). But it would also result in immediate increases in the tax bills of everybody in town who has the misfortune of not owning a trawler. That’s not tax relief. That’s tax shifting.

As far as I can tell, I’m the only person in Maine who thinks this is a dumb idea. So it’ll be easy to identify the loser in the 250,000-to-one tally on election night.

Then there are the bond issues, which, if passed, will increase the state’s debt by a modest $83 million. Plus interest. Which, over the next decade, will add more than $24 million to the bill.

I’ll reluctantly vote for Question 2, the $33 million transportation bond, because most of the money goes to maintaining and improving vital infrastructure, such as roads and bridges that lead to bars. But I’m not happy about the $400,000 to build bike paths and walking trails, luxuries we could do without during tight economic times.

The rest of the bond package ought to — but won’t — be defeated.

Question 3 would spend nearly $9 million (plus $2.6 million in interest) to upgrade municipal water-treatment systems. There’s no emergency here, so let’s wait until we can cover the cost without borrowing.

Question 4 is a $20 million "jobs" bond, with interest charges of nearly $6 million. Since 1996, voters have approved five similar bonds totaling over $130 million. So where are the jobs?

Question 5 sets aside $12 million for the Land for Maine’s Future program, a worthy enterprise if we could afford more state parks. Which we can’t, since we aren’t maintaining the ones we’ve got. Let’s save the money, as well as nearly $3.6 million in interest.

Question 6 calls for borrowing $9 million for the University of Maine System and the Maine Community Colleges, where you can learn to calculate compound interest on this loan at $2.7 million. As its state subsidy shrinks, the university system has been raising tuition, making it harder for Maine students of modest means to attend. Address that problem before putting up more buildings.

Bonds and other silly ballot initiatives almost always pass, so voting this way pretty well assures my loser status on election night. Fortunately, I’ve already found a support group of folks who’ve dealt with a similar record of failure.

I’ll be attending the next University of Maine Black Bears football game.

If you don’t want to be seen talking to a loser, just email me at ishmaelia@gwi.net