The beauty of letting go BY AL DIAMON

Just because an idea is being promoted by kooks doesn't mean it's bad.

There is, however, a high correlation between the number of wackos advocating a scheme and the probability it will fail to deliver on its promises. For examples, consider Dirigo Health, David Emery's campaign for governor, intelligent design, Celine Dion, and beer with blueberries in it.

Likewise, the latest proposal to have Maine secede from the United States should be approached with considerable skepticism. This one has kooks hanging all over it.

They are, however, interesting kooks, coming from a wide range of political and philosophical persuasions. There are liberals, conservatives, libertarians, populists, elitists, intellectuals and working-class slobs — sharing almost no common ground, except the dream of escaping the legal, moral, or social strictures of the national culture.

Author Carolyn Chute called for secession during her "satirical" run for governor in 2002. Chute saw an independent Maine as a means to reduce the power of corporations and expand the rights of gun owners.

Thomas Naylor, the leader of Vermont's secession movement, refers to the effort as "a communitarian alternative" to "technofacism, affluenza, e-mania, megalomania and imperialism."

One anonymous writer on the MaineIndymedia Web site called the secession effort a "libertarian populist movement," while another said its supporters believed "it would probably make weed easier to get legalized."

And even Alex Guillotte, the organizer of Maine's fledgling secessionists, admitted, "The first reaction is usually that only crazy people with guns in Montana want secession."

Guillotte, 39, of Lewiston doesn't come off as crazy. A little idealistic, maybe. Just a touch unrealistic. But definitely not nuts. A couple of years ago, he and his wife moved from Massachusetts to Maine, which demonstrates common sense. He works in a homeless shelter in Augusta, so he's not some fluffy-headed flatlander who thinks the whole state is pine trees and lobsters. And his political views aren't especially radical.

"I believe in small government," he says. "People can govern themselves, the more local, the better. . . A smaller country is more likely to serve the people than a larger country."

With the possible exceptions of Myanmar and North Korea.

But let's not quibble over the occasional outbreak of authoritarianism. On his Web site (www.freemaine.org), Guillotte assures potential supporters an independent Maine would be democratic, featuring "a devolution of power from the federal and state governments back to local communities and the extension of participatory democracy to the workplace and the farm." That last part sounds as if cows might get to vote on milk prices. But that would be wacky, and Guillotte doesn't come off as being a couple of squirts shy of a full bucket.

Well, maybe one squirt shy. He envisions Maine as a bastion of sustainable agriculture which would somehow allow us to feed ourselves without relying on Florida citrus or winter veggies from Latin America. Even more amazing is his contention that Mainers could somehow heat their homes and fuel their cars "without the import of foreign resources." There goes that new distillery that makes vodka out of potatoes. Once independence is declared, all those spuds will be needed for bio-diesel.

There are a couple other problems with not being part of the USA. One is money. For every tax dollar Maine sends to Washington, it gets back over $1.30. Kiss that sweet deal goodbye. Also, better start planning farewell parties for more than 7000 federal workers whose jobs and paychecks would vanish. It seems unlikely the feds would be servicing nuclear submarines in Kittery or handling defense accounting in Limestone once those places come under a foreign flag. Nor would they contract to build top-secret DD(X) destroyers at Bath Iron Works if it were located on alien soil.

Guillotte shrugs off those problems. "The United States might retain possession of that land," he says. "We could negotiate to leave it as sovereign US property for a period of time."

As for replacing those federal jobs, he'd rely on "economic solidarity," which appears to mean buying everything from locally owned stores. Sounds nice, until you have to figure out what to do with all those folks who used to work at Wal-Mart. Better hope Mom's Homemade Lard Factory is hiring. Or we can ask the nice Americans for foreign aid.

Still, there are attractions to being independent. Maine could send ambassadors to exotic lands, like Canada. We could join the United Nations, and skim off oil-for-food money. No limits on importing Cuban cigars and pirated DVDs from China. If we legalized pot, prostitution, and the teaching of Darwin's theory, we'd attract tourist trade from both hedonists and humanists.

Michael Heath would leave.

Might be worth it.

Postal service? We don't need no stinkin' postal service. You can e-mail me at ishmaelia@gwi.net