Extreme behavior BY AL DIAMON

Difficult as it is to believe, there are a few bad things that aren’t the fault of Democratic Governor John Baldacci. After a thorough investigation, I’ve concluded Baldacci bears no responsibility for:

1. The injury that cost the New England Patriots defensive ace Rodney Harrison. (As for tackle Matt Light’s long stay on the disabled list, all the evidence isn’t in, but it appears the governor is clean on that one, too.)

2. The constant repetition of lame promos on the UPN station in Portland during re-runs of "South Park" and "The Simpsons," particularly spots featuring Bill Cosby, the two race-car guys or Shannon Moss.

3. The Aeon Flux movie.

Baldacci is to blame for everything else. At least, that’s what his rabid critics claim.

When an Augusta lingerie store put live female models in its windows to promote the sale of sexy undergarments, the Christian Civic League of Maine (motto: Desperately Seeking A New Issue) claimed this outbreak of rampant hedonism was the result of Baldacci "pushing an urban agenda that is at odds with the traditions of Maine" and "in keeping with the Governor’s plan to transform Maine along the lines of a ‘Creative Economy.’" ("Creative Economy" and "urban agenda" have become the civic league’s code words for anything to do with homosexuals, although indications are the store’s primary audience was straight men.)

In a letter to the governor, league executive director Michael Heath wrote that the marketing scheme "casts a shadow over our local and state government, calling into question their ability and even their desire to ward off a serious threat to the moral integrity and the safety of our society."

When word circulated the shop was about to add male models to its displays, one of the right-wing wackos on the "As Maine Goes" Web site demanded, "Gov. Baldacci: "SEND IN THE STATE TROOPERS NOW — OR RESIGN."

Just for the record, there’s no state law governing how stores decorate their windows. Even if there were, the U.S. Constitution’s guarantee of free speech would appear to limit regulation to displays that somehow threaten the general welfare, a danger probably not posed by underpants-covered buttocks.

Irrational assessments of the governor aren’t the exclusive province of crazed conservatives. Liberals, too, seem to be viewing the Baldacci legacy from a drug-addled alternate reality.

Among the first to drink the Kool-Aid was Maine Sunday Telegram/Portland Press Herald editorial page editor John Porter. In a July column, Porter praised the governor for his "moderate, pragmatic views" and claimed, "Baldacci actually deserves considerable credit for the way he has managed the budget process."

Porter’s papers have consistently given Baldacci the benefit of the doubt, arguing his good deeds have been "down-played," and opponents "may have exaggerated the negative impact" of his health-care program.

After a November poll showed only 38 percent of voters thought the guv deserved another term, columnist Jim Brunelle, writing in the Dec. 1 Kennebec Journal, asked, "Why does this agreeable, optimistic, hardworking and politically experienced if personally bland fellow triggers such deep-seated negative feelings on the part of his fellow Mainers?" Brunelle concluded there was "no clear reason," but public dissatisfaction could be "tied to a national wave of discontent with politics and politicians in general." Which is the same excuse offered by Baldacci’s official spokesman.

Both the left and the right need to get real.

Conservative kooks ought to recognize that models no more exposed than the average sunbather on a summertime beach do not constitute an issue of sufficient importance to merit the governor’s attention. Municipal authorities seem capable of dealing with any epidemics of exposed epidermis if such dealing is required. Which, it appears, it isn’t.

As for loonie liberals, they should have no trouble figuring out why the public is disenchanted with Baldacci. He’s championed a property-tax relief program that didn’t provide significant relief. He promised tax reform, but didn’t deliver. He balanced his first state budget by selling off a decade’s worth of state liquor revenues. He attempted to balance his next spending plan by doing the same with lottery income. He also proposed borrowing hundreds of millions to cover a budget shortfall, a debt the state would have had to pay back without any liquor or lottery revenues. His Dirigo Health plan is, at best, questionable. At worst, it’s an economic sinkhole.

These are legitimate issues for debate. Preferably, by somebody who isn’t crazy.

Which is not to say nuts should be excluded from the political process. Freed of the need to discuss the above-mentioned matters, they can devote themselves to Baldacci’s role in alien abductions, alligators in the sewers, and confining the aging Elvis to the Blaine House dungeon.

E-mail me at ishmaelia@gwi.net with comments and complaints. Except complaints about the Aeon Flux movie.