Maine could secede (continued)
	These are a few of my secessionist friends These intrepid Mainers have willingly put their First Amendment rights to the test in order to register their dissatisfaction with our federal government: Joni Altshuler, counselor Matt Anderson, aka Crank Sturgeon Patrick Bonsant, piano mover Boo, singer, Covered in Bees Nicole Chaison, Hausfrau Jill Dalton, artist and proprietor, Filament Gallery Mike Dank, drummer, Harpswell Sound Phil delVecchio, counselor Kit Demos, bassist, Mystic Outbop Review Dana Gross, guitarist, Los Federales Tim Harbeson, multi-instrumentalist, Tarpigh Catherine Krupsky, social worker Marc Larrivee, social worker Christina Ledoux, clerk, Material Objects Margot McCain, librarian Kate McDade, Rebel Mom Blainor McGough, puppeteer, Hurdy Gurdy Puppet Show Gary Meres, singer, Long Black Veil Dave Merrill, Information Technologist Buffy Miller, hostess, The Stillhouse Fred Morin, bassist, Ditchweed Road Jason Morrissey, jeweler, Morrisey Designs Ernie Paterno, glass blower, Cyroni Glassworks Kyle Purinton, aka G. Pasternak, Anti-Friend Hut Lisa Purinton, " ex-blackjack card counter " Elizabeth Robbins, counselor Chris Rohde, Long Black Veil Oscar Romero, multi-instrumentalist extraordinaire Frank Sanfilippo, drummer, Mystic Outbop Review Annie Seikonia, writer Julie Silverman, retired social worker Jamie Silvestri, artist and mom Frank Turek, saxophonist, Mystic Out-bop Review A few of the people I spoke with had other ideas. Some — like Doghaus collaborator and Seekonk guitarist Patrick Corrigan, and Jordan Kratz, frontman for Big Meat Hammer — suggested we become a sovereign country rather than a province of Canada. Dana Gross, of Los Federales, proposed we reverse the outcome of the Civil War and just " give the South back. " Mick Majka, cook at Norm’s East End Grill, seemed excited at first by the idea, and stood and reflected for a minute. Then he said, thoughtfully, " Good or bad, I’m proud to be an American . . . The country’s got some problems. George Bush has got some problems. But when it comes down to it, I’m proud to be American. " And Jennifer Rockwell, owner of Material Objects, declined to put her name on the list, saying she thought it was important to stay here and " keep fighting. " — JL

OF COURSE, the United States of America was founded on the basis of secession. The Vermont movement, called the " Second Vermont Republic, " supports its prerogative by quoting Thomas Jefferson on its Web site, vermontrepublic.org: " Whenever any form of government becomes destructive, it is the right of the people to alter or abolish it, and to institute new government. " These words, written in the Declaration of Independence, declared US sovereignty from the British Crown.

As an anonymous writer on another site, www.secessionist.us, declares, " Secession is as American as apple pie. "

When I talked with my bandmate Chris Rohde about my idea, he joked that he didn’t understand why it hasn’t happened already. " If we were able to secede from Massachusetts, " he said, " we should certainly be able to secede from the United States. "

Maine seceded from Massachusetts in 1820.

One Maine town, Otisfield, seceded from one county to join another. Five others proposed similar ideas.

In 1998, irate Northern Mainers launched a movement to secede from Southern Maine.

Since 1969, 14 communities have introduced legislation to secede from their towns and go it alone. Three were successful. Ogunquit became its own entity when it seceded from Wells in 1970. Long Island seceded from Portland in 1993. And most recently, Frye Island seceded from Standish in 1997.

Mark Greene spearheaded Long Island’s secession movement. He notes that Long Island seceded from Portland at the same time that the Soviet Union broke apart. And though he is uncomfortable being associated with the idea of Maine seceding from the US, he commented that, " My idea [when I proposed it] years ago seemed as crazy at the time as your does now. " Like the American Revolution, the Long Island movement began as a tax revolt and, in the end, according to Greene, " It really became a self-rule issue rather than a tax issue. " He points out that since gaining sovereignty Long Island has improved its roads, refurbished the community hall, built a major library/school addition, purchased an emergency boat, and established a town hall where islanders can take care of all the business they previously did by way of a long ferry ride to Portland. All this, and taxes are a third lower than they would otherwise have been.

Greene has been impressed with how accessible Maine’s legislators are, and attributes that to Maine’s relatively small population. He also notes that Long Island’s manageable budget makes it easier for people to make sense of how their taxes are being spent. " The smaller it is, the easier it is to see it. "

Of course, not all American secession movements have been as successful of Long Island’s. When Americans think of secession, most think of the South’s failed efforts to secede from the Union, a movement that lead to the bloodiest war in US history. Afterwards, six Southern states were forced to write directives into their state constitutions forbidding future secession efforts.

But is secession unconstitutional? Vermontrepublic.org notes that " the US Constitution does not forbid a state from leaving the Union. According to the Tenth Amendment to the Constitution, anything that is not expressly prohibited by the Constitution is allowed. "

And, says Naylor, the very fact that certain states were forced to amend their constitutions to ban secession efforts implies that secession is indeed recognized by the federal government as a legitimate option.

Maine’s constitution addresses the question in Article 1, Section 2: " All power is inherent in the people; all free governments are founded in their authority and instituted for their benefit; they have therefore an unalienable and indefeasible right to institute government, and to alter, reform, or totally change the same, when their safety and happiness require it. "

Canada, our potential new home, recently faced the secession question straight on. The sole French-speaking province, Quebec, proudly struggles to maintain its distinct culture even within Canada’s bilingual " cultural mosaic. " After Quebec’s second secession effort, in 1995, lost by a mere percentage point in a popular vote, Canada’s Attorney General asked the Supreme Court of Canada to decide the constitutionality of secession in Canada. The resulting " Clarity Act " of 1998 determined that secession will only be considered when there is " a clear expression of a will by a clear majority " of the population of the province in question, and such secession may not happen unilaterally but amidst negotiation with the provincial and federal governments.

Nothing in the Clarity Act indicates whether Canada would accept a refugee state from America.

And what about that? Would Canada have us? What does Maine have that Canada would want?

Well, first off, considering how many Canadians flock to Old Orchard Beach each summer, it wouldn’t be far off to call Maine, also known as Vacationland, the new Florida of Canada. Except, of course, Canadians would likely want to restrict their travel to the summer months.

Our natural resources include pulp, paper, and other wood products; potatoes; apples; and maple syrup. Did you know that over 90 percent of the nation’s lobsters are trapped on our shores? And that 98 percent of US low bush blueberries are harvested in Maine?

Also, we have Stephen King, L.L. Bean, and tourmaline.

But before we get ourselves into something we can’t get out of, we need to ask ourselves: Is Canada really the land of milk and honey?

Well, some things need a little work.

The postal system, for one. It costs a lot more to buy a stamp in Canada, and takes longer for letters to get where they’re going. And there’s no Saturday delivery. But, as my friend Kate points out, it has UPS and FedEx, so " it’s not like you can’t mail anything. "

Also, gas is more expensive.

And then there’s the taxes.

To get an idea how much Canadian taxes differ from taxes in the US, I asked my folks what they pay. Of course, like the US, Canadians pay taxes according to income, so the numbers vary. My step-mother, a nurse, paid a combined average of 24 percent of her income to the federal and provincial governments before she retired; my father, an ad executive, doled out, on average, 33 percent before his retirement.

Yes, it costs more money to live in Canada. But you have to think about what you’re getting in return. Health care for all, and funding for the arts, for instance. A more egalitarian social safety net may explain why Canada boasts less violence, less crime, why even the biggest cities feel calm and safe, and why people there seem, generally, so civil. Sure, it’s a capitalist country and there’s competition, but it’s less ferocious, less cutthroat.

True, if rankings of Gross Domestic Product are any measure, the US is richer than Canada. But Canada has a higher quality of life. In the end, it may boil down to this question: Which is more important to us? It seems that a state that welcomes drivers across the border with the sign, " Maine: The Way Life Should Be, " would opt for the latter.

And, lest we forget, secession wouldn’t require us to move the state northward. So the weather wouldn’t get any colder.

Really, when it comes right down to it, what do we have to lose? US culture is so globalized, it’s not like we’d have to give up McDonald’s, or cable TV. True, we’d lose July 4th fireworks, but we’d gain Canada Day fireworks, on July 1st. We’d lose Columbus Day, but we’d gain Boxing Day (the day-after-Christmas holiday: Don’t ask me to explain it).

When it comes right down to it, mostly what we’d have to give up is accessorizing with flags. (That’s a uniquely American phenomenon.)

SO LET’S SAY a bunch of us decide we want to go ahead and secede.

I asked Thomas Naylor to explain what he has learned about how a state would go about breaking away from the motherland. He told me the first step would be to present a bill persuading the Legislature to hold a convention. Elected representatives from all over Maine would gather to discuss the idea and then take a vote. For credibility, the vote should pass by at least a two-thirds majority. Articles of Secession would then be submitted to the US President, the Secretary of State, the President of the Senate, and the Speaker of the House. Diplomatic recognition should be sought from the United Nations and key countries.

We would have to do some diplomatic schmoozing to woo ourselves to Canada. But in fact, Canadian columnist Thane Burnett indicates the Canadians might be grateful to have us. In a recent column offering to adopt us, Burnett writes, " Thank you for not simply taking us over, as we always expected you would. "

Of course, we would have to make some adjustments. For instance, we would need to change our system of government to Canadian standards and start calling ourselves a province. We’d have to catch up with the rest of Western civilization and start using the metric system. We’d get to start paying for things with colored bills, " Loonies " (the dollar coin), and " Toonies " (the two-dollar coin). We’d have to start spelling " theatre " with an " re " and " colour " with a " u. " We’d have to adjust to mainstream news coverage that critically scrutinizes backroom US politics.

As Burnett makes clear in his offer, " As Canadians, you’ll have to learn to embrace and use all the products and culture of Americans, while bad-mouthing their way of life. "

But we already do that anyway, don’t we?

Jennifer Lunden can be reached at jenniferlunden@hotmail.com