The drunken shuffle A playlist of local boozehounds BY SAM PFEIFLE

There’s this promotion going on right now at www.apple.com: "Did you buy an iPod and then buy a Mac? We want your story." I’ve submitted my story three times now. They don’t reply. Why, oh why, don’t they reply?

I got my iPod last July, then went to hook it up to my crap Compaq Presario. I think I actually heard a chuckle come from its hideously large speakers. Then my iPod sat around for six months collecting dust until I acquired an aging original iMac (what they now market as an eMac) loaded with OSX Panther.

It was like I’d been knocking rocks together and somebody handed me a Bic lighter. Now, instead of listening to the last 10 CDs I’ve bought until I get sick of them and buy new ones, I actually relive my music collection all the time. I make playlists of North Hampton indie rock (Sebadoh, Dinosaur Jr., Sonic Youth, Spouse, Mittens), of ’80s music I’m proud of (World Party, Depeche Mode, Erasure) and not (Lightning Seeds, Big Country, Judybats), even of old-school hip-hop I’ve been re-introduced to lately (3rd Bass, Ghetto Boys, Biz Markie).

The iPod is the best toy I’ve ever had — way better than that chemistry set I still maintain was really cool. The iPod allows me to, at the motion of a thumb, come up with things like:

The 10 best local songs about drinking

Okay, these are in alpha order by band name, with acknowledgements to the Frotus Caper for "My Lady Nicotine" (what’s booze without smokes?) and Steve Jones for his recent "Drunkard’s Life."

1. A-Frame and Mike Clouds, "Life on a Barstool": From the opening muted accordion riff and the crisp beer-can opening, Frame and Clouds walk the perfect line between bar cheers and melancholy mope. "When I’m pissed off/ I don’t slash my wrists off/ I pound a 12-pack of Schlitz and spit out this hip hop."

2. As Fast As, "A Is Wasted" (originally by the Hollywood Squares): I might have gone for "Wasted Youth," from Open Letter to the Damned, but there was a much better tune from Beautiful Locals. This song is perfect for As Fast As, lending itself to a bouncy Beatles treatment and featuring a second verse you can’t forget: "A’s on dope/ His friends all go to church."

3. Sara Cox, "Firewater": Just when you thought every song here would be some macho, look-how-hammered-I-am anthem, here I am to tell you that even Sara Cox got into the liquor act with her debut EP back in 2001. Like a lot of her early tunes, it’s a melancholy number, where "Fire and water don’t mix/ Except in my body." There’s always room on my iPod for a pretty tune about wallowing in sorrows.

4. Diesel Doug and the Long Haul Truckers, "I’d Like to Quite Drinking (But I Live Over a Bar)": This song is the epitome of what makes Diesel such a songwriting stud. He could write with humor without being cheesy. "I’d like to quit drinking, but I live over a bar/ To get to my next beer, I don’t have to go too far/ I know the life I’m living, it ain’t quite up to par/ I’d like to quite drinking, but I live over a bar." Brings a smile, every time.

5. Jeremiah Freed, "Off the Bottle": This is an overlooked, but way above average, Freed tune. It’s got a jazzy little intro, a laid-back verse, a powerhouse chorus, and a cool transition where the guitars wicka-wicka back and forth. Plus, it’s kind of a love song; he’s getting off the bottle "all for you," but, unfortunately, he winds up "Mind in the gutter/ Face in the streetlight/ Afraid to go home."

6. Ray LaMontagne, "Still Can’t Feel the Gin": A gem from GFAC 207, Vol. 4, Ray fans may have blinked and missed this, but it’s pretty damn fantastic. A classic bar tune, it’s a paean to the notion that the only thing better than drinking your sorrows away is getting rid of them by dancing with the best-looking girl in the place.

7. Lincolnville, "Medicate Luck": Okay, I’m not positive this is about drinking, actually, but most of Lincolnville’s lyrics were pretty metaphorical, and this might be my favorite couplet ever written in Portland: "Medicate my luck/ I sing to shut you up." I’ve been in that relationship.

8. Paranoid Social Club, "Wasted": If you’re looking for a party anthem, don’t go any farther than this barn burner off Axis II. Why mess around when you can go with a simple chorus like, "I’m wasted/ All fucked up and wasted/ Wasted."

9. Spouse, "Sad Not Trashed": Never mind favorite drinking tunes, this is actually my favorite Spouse tune of all time. Opening with a good old-fashioned hooker narrative, the song devolves into a final "la, la-la-la-la, la-la-la-la, la, la" singalong that’s the purest of pop.

10. Supersoul Challenger, "Barfly": To avoid supplying a list full of whiney, woe-is-me boozers (even "Wasted," when you really listen, seems to have a conscience), here’s a straight-ahead fire-breather. "There’s a party on/ And everybody’s goin’ . . . We don’t care where you’re comin’ from/ Just leave your wet blanket at home." Understood.

Sam Pfeifle can be reached at sam@phx.com.