EDITORS' PICKS - SHOPPING

BEST PLACE TO PLAY WITH TOYS UNDER THE PRETENSE OF SHOPPING FOR YOUR NEPHEW
The first time we walked into Treehouse Toys we were thinking, "Maybe we'll pick up something for our niece and nephew" (yes, we here at the Phoenix actually think in the collective first person - it's part of our training (some would say indoctrination)). But as we wandered around, playing with Legos, train sets and Slinkys, we realized, Who are we kidding? We're in college (some of us, yes), we barely have enough money to buy ourselves a cup of much-needed coffee in the morning (what, like we'd make coffee and save ourselves $10 a week - whatever, that's only like $500 a year. Oh, shit, that's like $500 a year), let alone splurge on gifts for the kids. The real reason we were in there was obvious. We like to play with toys. We all do. No, not those kinds of toys. Get your minds out of the friggin' gutter (or Nomia). Although many of us try to hide it under the pretense of "early Christmas shopping," the fact remains that nobody dislikes browsing around a toy store. After seeing numerous other adults in there without a child in tow, we decided that we weren't the only ones who had figured out that taking a break from the adult world for a while isn't such a bad idea. Ha. We just pretended like we live in the adult world. But, seriously, Tree House Toys is the Taj Mahal of toy stores. It's like Portland's very own version of FAO Schwarz, albeit considerably smaller and less expensive (and actually in business), but loads of fun nonetheless. They have just about every toy imaginable, not to mention books, puppets, art projects, and more.
Remember those cool elephants we had fighting on the cover of our paper when we were talking about how Peter Mills and Peter Cianchette (who recently sallied out) were going to duke it out for the Republican gubernatorial nomination? Yep, those were from Treehouse Toys, not Africa. Did we fool you? Oh, that's sad. Get back in your closet.
Treehouse Toys is located at 47 Exchange Street, in Portland (they also have a store in Portsmouth, NH) | 207.775.6133

BEST SAVE AND A HAIRCUT
Okay, your wife's birthday is, like, today. Or it's Mother's Day tomorrow, and you've got nothing. Nothing. We know, you're tempted to drive to the mall to buy an expensive sweater from Abercrombie, but don't. We've got something better. Walk yourself down to Akari and buy your gal a pedicure, or a manicure, or a massage - whatever, the pampering starts at only $50 and will insure a solid six months of non-doghouse living. Seriously, this Old Port salon will treat your gal right. And, in a town just starting to think about savoring pretentiousness, Akari is pretty much the only joint with name recognition that will work even on your mother-in-law. As in, "Mom, Danny got me a massage at Akari! Can you believe it?," and maybe she's kind of hopping up and down just a little bit. Oh yeah, we believe it. Just like be believe we'll be getting laid for the first time in six months. (Remember, we're married in this particular theoretical nonsense. Like we'd be married.) However, it's important that you not fuck this up. When your girl gets back from taking advantage of your gift, make sure to offer up the compliments in a way that's both sincere and decidedly not sarcastic. Even the hint of sarcasm can really ruin this, so make sure to practice in the mirror: "Wow, did they do a makeup thing on you, too, or something? It's like you're glowing. You look so relaxed."
Akari Hair and Day Spa is located at 468-470 Fore Street, in Portland | 207.772.9060

BEST WICKED CHEAP VINTAGE
Tucked away up on the corner of Congress and India streets is the most adorable vintage shop we've ever been in, Juju & Moxie. Clothes are hung on ballet bars; the dressing room door is a floral shower curtain (no peeking). The colorful arrays of clothing from the '30s through '70s are cheaper than anything you can find new today. Owner Jennifer Grannis says she does that on purpose. "Lower prices produce a faster turnover," she says, and it keeps the customers happy. It's true; we have a lot harder time talking ourselves out of spending 12 bucks on a dress we love than one that costs 50 at Encore. Most of the dresses are around 15 dollars, while sweaters, shoes, and skirts are all around 10 - gentlemen, take a flyer; your gal may just reward you. If you're looking for anything from a whimsical summer dress to a furry winter coat, you can find it (and afford it) here.
One of our favorite things about Juju & Moxie is the decoration; there isn't a bare spot in the store. Old books and records are arranged on lacy tablecloths draped over bedside tables, a red vinyl table and chair set sits opposite the antique register, and framed photographs of geisha girls hang on the faded, flowery wall.
A large selection of men's clothing is also available for all you classy guys out there. We figure there are at least a dozen of you in Portland alone. If you need to polish your look, Grannis has two full cases of jewelry, a few boxes of hats in all styles, and racks of bright belts, funky ties, and knit scarves scattered throughout the store. And then there is the Phoenix favorite: the dollar bin - which, if culled through carefully may produce such objects as a plaid jacket, purple '80s parachute pants, or a tennis outfit not unlike the one your grandmother might have worn. All your purchases are then rung up on the antique cash register Grannis found at one of the estate sales she goes to almost weekly. The only thing that ain't vintage about the place is the sales tax. Who thought that up, anyway?
Juju & Moxie is located at 253 Congress Street, in Portland | 207.773-2363

BEST TASTE OF THE MIDDLE EAST:
The flavored tobacco bar has taken Portland by storm. At just $10 per hookah, it's not hard to see why. The Purple Caterpillar's comfortable room is decorated with images from Alice in Wonderland and quotes from Jack Kerouac. There are abounding cushions and low tables set up for customers, who order their choice of flavored tobacco, or shisha, from a menu of about 20 fruity and spicy varieties. It is then prepared by the staff and delivered to the table in traditional Middle Eastern fashion.
The pipes are imported from Egypt, while the shisha is mostly from Saudi Arabia and Jordan and said to be almost as potent as weed. Who says that? Well, no one, really. We just thought using the word "weed" would be good right there. One Hookah is enough for four people to share for more than an hour. Unlike cigarette or pipe smoking, the shisha is not dry or lit on fire; coals heat the tobacco which is quite damp and therefore does not burn so much as smolder. The customer then takes one of four tubes that emanate from the hookah, inhales, and the smoke is "bubbled" through water to cool it before it hits the lungs.
And oh, the sweet inhale! Bill Clinton would certainly approve (sorry, the word "inhale" necessitates a Clinton joke). The shisha produces an effect similar to that achieved when smoking pot (um, no it doesn't, but wouldn't that be nice?), which explains the bar's popularity among the 18+/-21 set.
The Purple Caterpillar is located at 10 Exchange Street, in Portland | We can't find their phone number anywhere

BEST T-SHIRT TO MATCH YOUR COFFEE
Milo is the newest addition to Casco Bay Books, a further creation by Mark High, co-owner of our all-time favorite socially conscious literary cafe (we don't get out much). After remodeling this summer to open up another space within Casco Bay Books, the newly created Milo has acquired a small but interesting selection of clothing from independent designers from Maine and as far away as Texas and is now selling them for a fairly affordable fee. "We try to be price conscious," says High, "while still supporting these designers." High himself has a small line also on display that he has been developing in house for about a year, called Milo in Maine. His T-shirts are made from organic cotton and come in four designs inspired by the Maine coast: moss, birch, rock, and ocean. They feature a simple collection of lines stitched on with different colors in what you might call a pattern. In addition to independent designers, Milo also carries European military surplus and a selection of Levi's jeans in hard-to-find washes and styles.
"We have interesting basics," says High, gesturing to a table display. "T-shirts that you can dress up if you want to." All of the clothing comes in small shipments, so that the store can keep a variety on sale and update new pieces regularly. Since opening on September 2, Milo has done very well, says High. He thinks the connection with Casco Bay Books has helped boost business on both sides. Honestly, what more could you ask for? Finally, a place where you can obtain a unique new outfit, pick up an interesting book, and satisfy your caffeine craving all at once. Not to mention the adorable staff they have working on both sides of the wall. It's just one yummy thing after another.
Milo is located adjacent to Casco Bay Books at 151 Middle Street, in Portland | 207.541.3842 | www.miloportland.com

BEST HIPPIE BOX SET
Hippie culture encompasses a lot, everything from patchwork and cartoon bears to gourmet meals at festival tentsides. But what it comes down to really (after jam band music, of course) are two sweet things: nugs and nags (pronounced naugs). Nugs are green, medicinal and stanky. Nags are brown and aromatic. They go hand in hand.
Nag is short for nag champa, an India incense delight made from a crushed blend of herbs, flowers, resins, and oils. Its sweet and earthy aroma is used for deep calming meditation, creating sacred spaces, and most importantly, covering up nug stank, like if you're in the dorms of live in a building with old people who might drop a dime.
Nags reportedly stimulate olfactory neurons, producing a calming effect on the human body. They've been around since Biblical times (think Three Wise Wen) and are worshipped by many as a high-enhancing olfactory accoutrement.
Sai Baba Nag Champa, recognizable by its blue-and-red box, is a light and common favorite, found all over town. But, we discovered a rare import box set, while buying Trey tunes at Bull Moose Music on Middle Street. It's known as the Golden Nag.
Golden Nag is the Jerry Garcia of incense. Its package is golden. Its aroma is potent. And its brand name is Goloka. Available in pinner and fatty sizes, golden nag is fun to share, so invite some friends over and burn a few.
Bull Moose Music is located all over the damn state | If you don't know where one is, you better ask somebody

BEST RECYCLED RETRO THREADS
If you attended the Indie Winter Fashion Show at Casco Bay Books last winter, you were introduced to a sampling of what local designer Shannon Rankin is capable of. She recycles and alters choice old clothes. Imagine a '70s polyester shirt transformed into a desirable cut and style. "We fashion handmade clothing and accessories, transforming new and vintage materials into unique one-of-a-kind contemporary pieces," is the description she uses on her current Web site, www.selflesh.com. Lace, ribbon, buttons, beads, and decorative stitching embellish each piece to give it its own personality, and further expresses yours. Rankin's choice in colors, materials and lines make these garments stand out from your typical wardrobe, yet are subtle enough that someone may take some time staring at you, taking in all the intricate details. So intricate are the details that she's able to make them into small masterpieces too. Rankin's "fabric jewelry" is organic and feminine and unlike anything you've seen before. Rings of netting, wool and thread are a steal at only $1 each. Earrings made from collaged fabric, vintage beads and buttons are like clothes for your ears. Rankin also promises wrist cuffs and chokers in the near future, as well as the opening of her online store, www.alteredvintage.com this winter.
Contact Shannon Rankin online at www.selflesh.com